7 Things Partners Should Know About Menopause. And How To Get Through It Together.

Ask any woman going through menopause what it feels like, and many will they’ll tell you it’s like someone or something hijacked their body. Their brain can get foggy, their emotions run rampant, and many are exhausted from night sweats and insomnia. The symptoms can come in waves, persist for years, and impact every relationship in their life.  And if you’re not the person going through this transitional time, it can be hard to empathize. Something as simple as explaining what a hot flash feels like or waking up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat can be almost impossible.

Heading for divorce? According to a 2022 survey by the Family Law Menopause Project in the U.K., 73 percent of women blamed menopause for their divorce. Also, over 60 percent of divorces are initiated by women in their 40s, 50s or 60s — the menopause years — according to a recent survey conducted by AARP Magazine.

So, as a partner, how can you help your loved one during this time and save your relationship?

Here are a few ideas...

1. Acknowledge it is a big deal. And not just for the woman going through it.

Menopause can take over a woman’s life. It affects her not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. It can affect every relationship, both in her personal and professional life. Unfortunately, some women don’t seek help and just hope it will eventually go away. They go for the “white knuckle” option....they think they can just wait it out. Meanwhile, those around her will often take the brunt of rollercoaster emotions. It is important that you validate what she is going through during this turbulent time in her life.

2. Let’s talk about it.

As with any relationship in life, communication is vital. Sit with her and ask what you can do for her. Really listen to what she has to say. If this becomes a struggle, consider going to a therapist who specializes in menopause. A quick Google search should help you find someone local or there are several online options as well.

Be careful how you word things. Instead of “Why are you angry all the time?” try " You seem frustrated. Is there anything I can do?” She is going through enough right now without needing to feel judged. However, if it is getting so bad that you fear your relationship could end, have the hard talk.

3.Expect your sex life to change.

One of the things that is often never talked about is how the changes a woman goes through during menopause can affect her sex life. Intercourse can become painful. Arousal is harder to begin and maintain due to slower blood flow to the vaginal area. Plus, many menopausal women gain belly fat, lose hair, and their skin starts to age faster. It’s hard to feel attractive when you’re dealing with all of that, and adding hot flashes and night sweats don’t help!

Again, talk about it. Ask how you can support her, like trying different positions, buying sex aid tools, spending more time in foreplay, or even considering visiting a specialist together. Various experts can help, among others, gynecologists, sex therapists, and psychologists.

4. Do your own research.

Knowledge is power, and learning what menopause is all about will help you get through it. You will be less likely to take things personally when you understand menopause-related changes aren’t about you.  Read a book, listen to a podcast, and ask if you can go to a doctor’s appointment with your partner. Talk to your mom, sisters, or aunts about what they needed during this time.

5. Self-esteem takes a hit during menopause...Keep the compliments coming!

As mentioned above, a woman’s body can rapidly change when perimenopause and menopause occur. With a lower amount of estrogen, her body will change. Hair can fall out and hair will probably start to grow where it never did before!  Wrinkles, excess belly fat, low libido, lack of sleep...all gifts from the Menopause Gods!

Make it a point to let your partner know that you still find her attractive. Make a personal note to give her a compliment at least once a day. It’s hard to stay upset with someone giving you a compliment when it’s authentic!

6. Don’t take it personally.

Yes. This is easier said than done. However, the negative emotions or harsh words are coming from a place of mixed-up hormones and a feeling that there is no control over her body. Often, women get into a routine of taking out their menopause frustrations on those closest to them without even being aware of it. But no one should have to take continual abuse of any kind. If it gets out of control, again seek professional help.

7. It won’t last forever!

Now that’s some good news.  How long a woman stays in menopause varies greatly not true but there will come a day when it will end. So, hang in there, encourage your partner to get any help needed during this transition, and know they will be just as excited as you when it’s over!

Let me rephrase this:

It won’t last forever!

Some symptoms won’t last forever. Now that’s some good news! Menopause itself (or Post-menopause) is a lifelong phase, but the toughest symptoms often ease over time. In the meantime, encourage your partner to get the support she needs, and remind her she’s not alone in this journey.

Timeless Youth Empowerment™, led by Dr. Faruqi, supports women over 40 and 50 to take control of their health, vitality, and aging journey. We provide education in hormonal balance, anti-aging strategies, and symptom relief for menopause and midlife changes. We address symptoms like fatigue, weight gain, and sleep issues, helping women regain energy, confidence, and a youthful glow by guiding women through midlife transitions with natural and medical solutions backed by science.

Disclaimer: The content in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.